1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, size 14-16.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a giant dog dish next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: " Hey Bubba: Big Mike, Slim, Cooter and I went for more ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the Pitbulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up pretty bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but I locked all four of them in the house. Better wait outside."

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Liberal-a person who has his cake, eats his cake, and complains that other people don't have cake, and believes that you should donate your cake to them

And a few spent cartridge cases outta do the trick, for those that can't read.

That doesn't sound like my experience of home security Texas style.

Some years ago we lived in Fort Worth.

I worked as a police dispatcher / 911 calltaker for a few years. One evening an elderly man called to say that someone was breaking into his house near white settlement. He informed me that he was in a wheelchair.

I informed a dispatcher who notified officers and I kept the man on the line. He had moved to his bedroom, which was at the end of a hallway that had 4 other doors. While the police were en route to his house, he was telling me that he could hear the intruder opening doors and rummaging through the other rooms off of the hallway. I was informing him how close the officers were getting.

Eventually, he told me that the intruder was turning his door knob (locked). He asked me to wait a second and I heard him put the phone down. I could hear a loud thumping which turned out to be the intruder putting his shoulder to the door then a crash and then BANG.

The old guy (83 years old) picked up the phone and told me that I could cancel the police and call the coroner instead. He had been sitting there with a 12 gauge on his lap. A few minutes later, I hear officers asking him to put the gun down and one picked up the phone. He identified himself and said that we should send the Medical Examiner to the location that the intruder appeared to be dead.

I hung up and while the M.E. was on the way to the location, the dispatcher got the name of the intruder from the officer who looked in his wallet. He was 23 years old and had a record of breaking and entering and violent behavior that went back to the age of 13.

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"It's not alive, It's not alive, It's not alive. Because I said it isnt', there's your proof jerk." ...lexi

"As far as your logical fallicy shit - shove it. I am a woman."...naturemomma

I was in Ft. Worth once when on the news there was a story of a kid who tried to car jack a woman at a the drive up menu of a Jack in the Box. He waited for her to drive up, threw the door open, pointed a gun at her and dragged her out of her truck. He did not know that this woman carried a Barreta 92 under a pillow on the seat. When the kid pulled her out, she came out with the pistol in her hand and she plugged him twice in the chest. He went down, then reached up, grabbed her jacket to try to pull himself up so she plugged him again. One the gruond (he was probably in a panic now) he reached for her foot so she plugged him again. This made him jerk so she capped him again. Which made him jerk so she plugged him again...which made him jerk...and so on until her pistol was empty.

Turned out the kid was 14 and he was carrying a $50 .25 Raven with 2 bullets in it. I love warm and fuzzy stories like that.

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Liberal-a person who has his cake, eats his cake, and complains that other people don't have cake, and believes that you should donate your cake to them

Object lesson:

When in Fort Worth, keep your hands to yourself.

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"It's not alive, It's not alive, It's not alive. Because I said it isnt', there's your proof jerk." ...lexi

"As far as your logical fallicy shit - shove it. I am a woman."...naturemomma

God Bless Texas and That is why I live in Cowtown (Fort Worth for all of you greenhorns).

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People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp92vkXcC0w

I'm sure that some people will find killing in self defense uncivilized, but I say way to go!

I posted this before, but it bears repeating in a thread like this. Years ago a guy fired a shotgun at me through my front window and came into my house after me, firing a few more times.

I got off two shots at him. Got him in the neck and chest.

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Liberal-a person who has his cake, eats his cake, and complains that other people don't have cake, and believes that you should donate your cake to them

If i didn't live in Ohio I would love to live in Texas, it's the only place where drinking beer and kickin' ass is still accepted.

In Ohio, I heard a story this spring of a guy robbing a pizza guy at gunpoint. The pizza guy was in his car getting ready to pull out so he ran over the robber. The robber is suing the pizza guy and the pizza guy may face vehicular assault charges.

Damn yankees

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People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp92vkXcC0w