I saw santa clauses slay last weekend. I filmed the whole thing and couldn't wait to tell everyone! But before I could the FBI took the film away. I had a feeling they were on to me, watching my every move. Damn shills. Damn this government!
Aliens planted a tracker up my ass. That's why it's sore in the morning. Not becuase there's butt plugs and beers around the house. I was fucking abducted!