Wives Wield Decision Power in Marriage

Jiggles · #11 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jan

Why is it that a man has to think that if a woman doesn't agree with them that it's a value judgement or that he is weak in some way? Why do some men not value their wives opinion? Does not valuing her opinion and giving her a say in the matter make him more of a man in some way? No! It doesn't.

A man should honor his wife and that means listening to her input whether he likes it or not. And vica versa I might add.

However, I agree with carsayzylum in that the home is the woman's domain and the woman is usually the one who keeps things on some sort of schedule in the home.

You quoted my post, so I am assuming it was meant as a reply. What exactly are you saying that is related to my post?

36shadow · #12 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneySteel

Recent studies have concluded what I have always known and that is that women do not talk more than men, but they do talk better. In my own case, my guy would rather have an ingrown nail removed than discuss any serious subject with me. Oh, he loved talking to his buddies about, essentially, NOTHING, but when it came to discussions about serious subjects, words left him. That's frustrating for women. If it isn't about sex, sports, cars, construction, politics, etc. men have a tendency to go mute....no words. I would say, "We really need to get the kid in line with household chores." His response, "Fine. Whatever." Next day....no action, no words. I would say, "We really need to get the house re-insulated." He would say, "I'll get a couple of bids." Next day....ONE bid that took all day 'cause they had to talk. Next day....ONE bid that took all day 'cause they had to talk. Came home to find husband and contractor watching a game on tv and drinking beer. "Did you get a bid?" "Yeah and it was higher than the first one, but I like this guy." They became buddies and the house was never re-insulated.

I recently moved from famland Ohio and only because the wife did not like the cold cold winters and wanted our daughter to be closer to the family we talked about the pro and cons and we decided to move to louisiana. When we were there it was more so then here but we as men do not need a contractor we had a 15 acre place with stables huge old barn two houses one I rebuilt then started in on the second one white solid oak fence around the property which the wife helped me with taught her how to run certain tools some she wanted to but some she did not but as I explained you don't have to do the job all the time but you need to know how to do the job so you are not victim to contractors if I should get hurt and something needs to get done. But My neighbor is about one football field to the side of me he has four younger brothers and they go help us if someone in there family needs a roof we go do it car needs fixed we go inside the shop and fix it see that is the key we have shops not huge but good size because we take care of our own stuff and if you don't know then one of us does and teaches the other. But the wife runs the house she is in charge of the check book and things like that but this is agreed upon not by her decision mostly because we don't have time for that stuff to busy even when I come home from work she has food ready I eat we talk and then it's back to work on the honey do list hell I came home one night a late night summer time and I had a window ac unit set up while I was installing the new central air but anyway it was not blowing cold air It was 12 nidnight but I had that unit out of the window and in the shop and within an hour the thing was cooling down the bedroom again. See I did not want to do it no one does but it has to be done and she has her responsabilities and I have mine it don't matter the time she asked I did it I ask her something she does it. It's called working together everyone pulls there weight now we don't work on the weekend strict rule family time because all the work is not worth it and anything you have is not worth it if you don't have time to enjoy your family. Now this has been this way since I was litte with everyone I know and my own family some see just part of it and think oh man you got it made the wife makes you dinner and does your clothes but they are only there for super being head of the house hold is a lot of hard and demanding work and the decisions you make affect the whole family so don't be so quick to jump into our shoes besides when it comes to major decsions it is discused now sometimes she has good points and can change my mind but if I feel it has to be done then that is what is going to be done for the best of the family. Oh and ya I have been wrong before that happens you just have to be able to admit your faults apolagise learn from it and then do something about it. Guess he should have been raised around us country boys huh with us when we look for a woman it's not looks not like say those boys in california that is trophy hunting no we look for someone we find beautiful and is strong but femanin like I tell my little nephews yes little I'm only 37 , 38 in nov. but I tell them you don't want a woman that stand in front of you or behind you a good woman stands right beside you and although you have different responsabilities you are equal because if mom gets ill you better know how to wash , cook , and clean because you also take up each others slack. I would say I feel sorry for you s/s but I don't know the man but I sure don't understand the type my wife is a very nurturing and femanine woman you would never guess but if I just set on my lazy but she would have some ass and I love that because I have a strong personality and any real man wants a real woman.

SydneySteel · #13 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 05:47 AM

Hope my post about the insulation didn't come across as a complaint because there never was a better guy than Mike, and the thing he loved best in the world other than his family was talking with his friends while drinking a little beer....AT HOME. No complaints. He worked hard. Always did his best and treated everyone with kindness. We were partners and rarely disagreed. He thought I was smart, bless his heart. Now I need insulation in this house also, but house must be rewired first. Electric bills are outrageous, but it is a very big, old house so......that's life.

36shadow · #14 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneySteel

Hope my post about the insulation didn't come across as a complaint because there never was a better guy than Mike, and the thing he loved best in the world other than his family was talking with his friends while drinking a little beer....AT HOME. No complaints. He worked hard. Always did his best and treated everyone with kindness. We were partners and rarely disagreed. He thought I was smart, bless his heart. Now I need insulation in this house also, but house must be rewired first. Electric bills are outrageous, but it is a very big, old house so......that's life.

ya I know I had to totaly rewire and replumb an old 3 story house on the farm it was built in 1904 they use to inulate the the with leaves nice combination drie leaves and fabric insulated wires.Thing I find sad is men don't know how to do things anymore they have to call someone and pay money now you don't need to know it all but hey 80% I new quite a few in California that did not even know how to change there oil that is just hard for me to comprehend I know kids 10 and 12 that know how to do that hell even my niece asked to be taught and showed her once or twice and got it down. In the country you don't have to like it or even do it but you need to learn how just in case.

SydneySteel · #15 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 36shadow

ya I know I had to totaly rewire and replumb an old 3 story house on the farm it was built in 1904 they use to inulate the the with leaves nice combination drie leaves and fabric insulated wires.Thing I find sad is men don't know how to do things anymore they have to call someone and pay money now you don't need to know it all but hey 80% I new quite a few in California that did not even know how to change there oil that is just hard for me to comprehend I know kids 10 and 12 that know how to do that hell even my niece asked to be taught and showed her once or twice and got it down. In the country you don't have to like it or even do it but you need to learn how just in case.

In my business I run across people all the time who have NO logic in their brains AT ALL. If you had a high security lock on a door that was loose would it not occur to you to tighten the screws? They will call me and pay me $65 to tighten two screws. Amazin! and that's just the beginning. I could go on and on with amazing tidbits of the lack of logic among the public. I am grateful for their money, but I do get weary of trying to explain the smallest things to folks. Yeah, I have that fabric covered wiring as well and I do not dare put insulation over it. It would catch fire in no time. Eek!

36shadow · #16 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneySteel

In my business I run across people all the time who have NO logic in their brains AT ALL. If you had a high security lock on a door that was loose would it not occur to you to tighten the screws? They will call me and pay me $65 to tighten two screws. Amazin! and that's just the beginning. I could go on and on with amazing tidbits of the lack of logic among the public. I am grateful for their money, but I do get weary of trying to explain the smallest things to folks. Yeah, I have that fabric covered wiring as well and I do not dare put insulation over it. It would catch fire in no time. Eek!

I hear ya parents don't teach kids common sense anymore. We have to be told by our bosses or the govt. what to think or what to do. Sad very sad.

Jimmythedude · #17 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 04:36 PM

it caled pussy wiped

SydneySteel · #18 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmythedude

it caled pussy wiped

Interesting turn of phrase, Jimmy. Maybe Debbie can explain.

theyellowresistance · #19 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 06:48 PM

Ya, surprising that the stereotypical relationship should be fairly accurate.

36shadow · #20 (**permalink**) 06-08-2008, 08:40 PM

The only thing it shows is power issues in our society and women that feel substandard because of the way they have been treated in the past. Steel your man has a problem and that is he just was not raised to be a real man. It is not about power in my house and who weilds more or less. I as a man have certain inherant traits that contribute to the partnership and a woman has the same. We both have our strong points and week points. She needs something fixed so she can keep the household running smoothly then I fix it or get it etc.. When it comes to our daughter we have discussed how we do and do not want to raise our child if our daughter does not listen to mom then I step in and ensure she does. We go back and forth on certain things and comprimise or agree on this that or what ever but there are things she will not give in on and things I will not give in on. I could go on and on and on but the main point is IT IS NOT A DUMB ASS COMPETITION FOR POWER AND THE SOONER YOU LEARN THAT THE BETTER OFF YOU WILL BE. But I will say this when it comes to something that is going to financialy affect our family the ultimate final word is mine because men make decisions based on rationality not emotion. When it comes to general welfare on our family well then she has the final decision because all things especialy emotional etc. things are not based on plain rationality. We play to our strengths we don't need to be the whole team we take our part and do our best at it that makes us stronger as a family. Check your ego and feminist fanatacism at the door.