Originally Posted by oceanbreeze

I agree that woman have healthy sex drives.

Perfect example.
My husband came home off his 6 months for 2 weeks of R/R.
Do you really think he had anything else on his mind but sex?
Seriously.

Originally Posted by jan

That could be part of it. If his sexual needs are for him to have a little strange every once in a while, why did he get married in the first place? Secondly, why didn't he negotiate an open marriage from the get go if that was his sexual need?

The point being that unless the husband and wife have a negotiated open marriage, they are sexually incompatible if one is sneaking around cheating while the other is being faithful thinking they are pleasing their spouse. They may be in denial about it, they may hide it from the other, but the bottom line is they are sexually incompatible. Yeah, they may enjoy it immensely when they have sex together, but for at least one of the partners, that's not enough for their sexual drive. So they seek sex elsewhere as well as at home.

I would say they are sexually compatible if an open marriage was negotiated from jump street though. At least they understand where the other one is coming from on the issue and they're dealing with it in their own way. It's not living a lie then...thus...compatibility.

Originally Posted by Dom1

Biologists argue that it is a man's DNA to roam. The idea of spreading the seed so to speak.

Based on that, virtually all marriages would be sexually incompatible. I dare say that yoru husband has dreamed about sticking it to Catherine Zeta Jones or the 17 year old baby sitter that comes over, no matter how much he is satisfied at home. The difference being that some people don't act on it.

Originally Posted by jan

And women have fantasies as well. Where's the incompatibility with that? It's the acting on it that causes problems with sexual incompatibility.

Originally Posted by Dom1

Right, so it has very little to do with being satisfied at home in that scenario, it has nothing to do with compatibility, which is what I was saying. If Catherine Zeta Jones showed up to the home of 100 sexually satisfied husbands I predict she would get laid at least 90 times.

Originally Posted by jan

And I would predict that probably every guy there would fantasize about it, but not all of them would act on it.

Originally Posted by Dom1

Not all of them would have to act on it for me to be correct.

Originally Posted by jan

What's your point? Do you just want to be correct?

I maintain my premise that if one spouse is cheating unbeknownst to the other, there is sexual incompatibility at play. Or another breakdown in the relationship at home that made them vulnerable.

Now...what's your point?