New Debate Rules Allow For One 15-Second Strangulation

OXFORD, MS—Amid discussions of possibly postponing the debate altogether, Sens. Barack Obama (D-IL) and John McCain (R-AZ) were able to agree Thursday on a new guideline that would allow each candidate one 15-second strangulation during Friday night's presidential debate. "Both candidates will receive two minutes to answer each question, five minutes for discussion, and a one-time-only option to walk over to their opponent's podium and cut off his oxygen supply for up to 15 seconds," a statement from the Commission on Presidential Debates read in part, also specifying that debate moderator Jim Lehrer can exercise his own discretion in determining whether or not the strangulations go over time. "After being choked, the candidate, if still standing, may counter with one of his two allotted empty beer bottles to the head." Because many have agreed the new rule will benefit McCain, the commission has also allotted Obama an optional double-thumbed eye gouge.

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"All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian."

Which side will you be on?


OBAMA/PEROT

Can they strangle the moderator?

I like that rule...easy win for Obama...McSame can't lift his arms high enough for a sufficient choke hold

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PRESIDENT OBAMA!!
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"and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"..............McCartney

Talk about below the belt.

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"All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian."

Which side will you be on?


OBAMA/PEROT

all in fun.....I respect him greatly for what he went through

__________________
PRESIDENT OBAMA!!
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"and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"..............McCartney

but still, Obama would win

__________________
PRESIDENT OBAMA!!
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"and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"..............McCartney