My personal experience's dealing with the whole abortion thing

rob · #11 (**permalink**) 03-29-2008, 07:10 PM

Well I haven't had any experiences with this issue but believe that a woman has the right to choose. But I also think that the father should have some say also.

Suburbanite · #12 (**permalink**) 03-29-2008, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wyatt earp

would just like to post my personal experience's dealing with the abortion issue, Did I do the right thing or did I do the wrong thing?

1. In 1983, I was around 17 and got my girlfriend pregnant, we were both young I was still in High school, She brought up the thought of getting an abortion, But I remember at the time thinking to myself, good then I won't have to pay child support, because I knew I was not going to get married and 17, But what I said out loud was it is your choice and I will deal with the responsibilities.
I broke up with here real fast, yes I was being an selfish asshole, but I was scared too. I felt if I was not around may bee she will put them up for adoption and I never told her about my plan.
Well my asshole selfish plan worked because after they were born, (I was not even there when they were born, I will regret that to the day I die). she had them for a few month's and decided to give them up for adoption. I signed the papers and I thought that was the end of it.
But I found out she never signed and I get a phone call 6 years latter from the kid's new Mom asking me to fly out to L.A. to testify in court because my ex-girl friend wanted the twin boys back (Yes, they were twins). So I had to go there and see my two boys when they were 6 years old and not even be able to tell them I was there dad, They won the custody battle and got to keep the boy's.

2. In 1995 after my ex-wife and I got married, she found out she was pregnant, A few month's went by and I was out of town on business and I got a phone call from her, saying I had to get home A.S.A.P. she was upset so I arrived the next morning.
She told me the Doctor called and wanted to see us, So we went there and he told us some bad news's, He said that there might be a problem with the Baby, he sent out the Medical records to Northern U. in Chicago (or something like that, he sent them to some called dumb ass "Experts").
He told us the baby might have Down syndrome, or be a midget, and we should consider getting an abortion.
I am thinking to myself, What kind of fucking doctor are you? I thought you are supposed to be saving life's instead of suggesting people to kill them?.
I could see by ex-wife's eye's that she was scared and the doctor left us alone and she asked what should we do?, I am like "It is not my body it is yours, But If it was me I would tell the Doctor to go fuck himself and have the baby any way's, who the fuck cares if it might be a midget or have down syndrome? I said to her, "I can not force you to have the baby, nor can I force you to have an abortion, I will not try to persuade you one way or the other, All I can do is support your decision."
So I guess by me saying that the case was settled, she decided to have the child.
When I was there in the delivery room and the baby was born, The doctor looks the baby over and says to me, (his exact words) " I don't know what the hell those guy's were talking about, this baby is fine". She in now a healthy 12 year old.
So from that point on, I will never ever belive a doctor again, I mean I won't put 100% trust in a quack, because sometimes you never know what can happen tomorrow.

First of all, great stories. Secondly, don't worry about the morality of it, try not to let it plague you too much. thirdly, yes, doctors of wrong, a LOT. I never trust just one, as a rule, before I do anything. I've been misdiagnosed for some of the simplest shit. They thought I had asthma when I was kid, also turrets (which I don't get cause I didn't blurt things out uncontrollably) and ADD. It was all fake paranoia, and in the case of the asthma i was on medication I didn't need. I'm totally healthy, mentally too. So yeah, good thing you didn't abort the kid, and good to know you learned the most important lesson from this, DONT TRUST DOCTORS OR PEOPLE OF AUTHORITY. Just because its their job doesn't mean they aren't bad employees.

SaintMalaclypse · #13 (**permalink**) 03-30-2008, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oceanbreeze

1. Lesson learned, you should've driven her to her appt.
2. Same thing happened to my sister, healthy babies.

Two healthy boys, alive and well with a family who loves them and was willing to FIGHT for them, and you still point out that he should have tried harder to kill them?! You're contemptible.

Where the hell's the :vomit: smilie when you need it...?

wolf_22 · #14 (**permalink**) 03-30-2008, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wyatt earp

would just like to post my personal experience's dealing with the abortion issue, Did I do the right thing or did I do the wrong thing?

1. In 1983, I was around 17 and got my girlfriend pregnant, we were both young I was still in High school, She brought up the thought of getting an abortion, But I remember at the time thinking to myself, good then I won't have to pay child support, because I knew I was not going to get married and 17, But what I said out loud was it is your choice and I will deal with the responsibilities.
I broke up with here real fast, yes I was being an selfish asshole, but I was scared too. I felt if I was not around may bee she will put them up for adoption and I never told her about my plan.
Well my asshole selfish plan worked because after they were born, (I was not even there when they were born, I will regret that to the day I die). she had them for a few month's and decided to give them up for adoption. I signed the papers and I thought that was the end of it.
But I found out she never signed and I get a phone call 6 years latter from the kid's new Mom asking me to fly out to L.A. to testify in court because my ex-girl friend wanted the twin boys back (Yes, they were twins). So I had to go there and see my two boys when they were 6 years old and not even be able to tell them I was there dad, They won the custody battle and got to keep the boy's.

2. In 1995 after my ex-wife and I got married, she found out she was pregnant, A few month's went by and I was out of town on business and I got a phone call from her, saying I had to get home A.S.A.P. she was upset so I arrived the next morning.
She told me the Doctor called and wanted to see us, So we went there and he told us some bad news's, He said that there might be a problem with the Baby, he sent out the Medical records to Northern U. in Chicago (or something like that, he sent them to some called dumb ass "Experts").
He told us the baby might have Down syndrome, or be a midget, and we should consider getting an abortion.
I am thinking to myself, What kind of fucking doctor are you? I thought you are supposed to be saving life's instead of suggesting people to kill them?.
I could see by ex-wife's eye's that she was scared and the doctor left us alone and she asked what should we do?, I am like "It is not my body it is yours, But If it was me I would tell the Doctor to go fuck himself and have the baby any way's, who the fuck cares if it might be a midget or have down syndrome? I said to her, "I can not force you to have the baby, nor can I force you to have an abortion, I will not try to persuade you one way or the other, All I can do is support your decision."
So I guess by me saying that the case was settled, she decided to have the child.
When I was there in the delivery room and the baby was born, The doctor looks the baby over and says to me, (his exact words) " I don't know what the hell those guy's were talking about, this baby is fine". She in now a healthy 12 year old.
So from that point on, I will never ever belive a doctor again, I mean I won't put 100% trust in a quack, because sometimes you never know what can happen tomorrow.

pregnancy and the abortion/adoption/parenthood question is never easy. a great part of it is taking responcibilty and agreeing to deal with all the consequences of your actions.

you do never know what can happen. sometimes the child is perfectly healthy and sometimes its not. there was a case in IL where a woman was around 8 to 9 months pregnant and then the doctor finds out the fetus is missing some of its organs. it only had a brainstem and the basic parts of the back of the brain (so the heart and lungs were working, body temp was fairly regualted ect), a kidney never grew in, parts of the intestines didn't either, and a whole other list of missing or malformed parts. she had an abortion. I suppose there's some things the doctors can't detect right away but it always seemed to me that by 8 month they should know the level of health in the pregnancy.

nothing is an absolute in these situations and people are forced to act with the information they have and deal with the consequences.