At last the controversy is over.
The infallible Fuhrer of the moral majority of Christinsanity has endorsed evilution!
Now all that remains is to convert or exterminate - preferably the latter - all the hillbillies in those heritical herpetology cults up in the Appalachians. Who think man was made outta mud and women are merely subhuman mutes and cum containers.
Jesus Catholic Christ Almighty! It ought to be self-evident, even to these one-eyebrowed inbreeds, that when it comes to salivation God is gonna go for the majority Caffliks, rather than a few dozen Nascar worshipping, sister fucking simpletons.
There is no way
known any sane God wants to spend eternity being lectured on theology, and the finer points of porking your ugly-enough-to-spit-shit sister by a few dozen Elmer Gantryish turds like Bluedog. Caffliks
know God is into cute little pre-teen girls in white wedding veils and lacy white confirmation dresses.
Far better to keep a few billion boozy laissez faire Caffliks kissing the feet of statues while God entraps an entirely
new planet into pursuing intelligence - i.e. the "Original Sin" - so he can repeat the whole sickeningly narcisistic process and torture untold billions of
its inhabitants forever.