Does anyone on this forum have a negro friend?

I don't mean a token spook at the office who was hired as part of a quota system.
Or some colored guy who dispenses paper towels in the washrooms of upscale restaurants.

I mean an actual friend, a guy you would invite over to your house.
If so, how do you handle that?

Let's say you're watching the game and he has to go to the bathroom.
Who cleans up after he's pissed all over the floor and got shit all over the toilet seat?

Or, you go phone for a pizza.
Who watches to make sure he doesn't steal your wallet and the TV?

Or you're grilling some burgers in the back yard and you go inside for a couple beers.
Who stands guard to prevent him from raping your daughter while you get the beer?

I would like to have a negro friend, just for PC purposes, but I'm not sure how to proceed.