Alright, I'll bite.

I'm for the dignity of man qua man.

A person, an individual does not need validation from peers or overlords - we are sufficient unto ourselves.

I am for the mind. We are curious creatures with a nature to seek out and discover, to explore and invent. I am for the freedom of mind which allows us to do so without restraint placed by dogma - whether from religion or from academia.

I am for mans ownership of his own thoughts. The designer of a new product or process has the rights to the fruits of his mind. He alone is the arbiter of the value of those thoughts, he alone can decide at what price he wants to sell them or trade them.

I am for liberty. No freedom is more pronounced than the liberty of one man to trade the sweat of his brow or the product of his mind to another - free from coercrion by kings, dictators or govenors who seek to steal the wealth of the productive.

I am for trade. The most noble act among humans is the voluntary trade of value for value. What I value freely traded for that which has equal value to another. All persons are enriched by such trades - no one looses. Where there is loss, always can be found a looter taking by force from those who produce.

I am for life. Men are free agents. We alone have the right to decide what is right for us. Who we will worship - if anyone, who we will love, who we will sleep with. No one has the right to tell another by what standards they should live except that all must adhere to the rights of others to be free as they are. Coercion and fraud must be prohibited - beyond that it is no ones right to dictate to another how to live.

In short, I am a Laissez Faire Capitalist and a dedicated Libertarian.

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Q:
How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A:
Liberals have outlawed lightbulbs!